The things I carry are my thoughts. That’s it. They are the only weight.

Kamal Ravikant

Complex Trauma describes a child’s exposure to multiple traumatic events, often of an invasive or interpersonal nature. These events are severe and pervasive, such as abuse or profound neglect. nctsn.org

Complex PTSD is thought to be more severe if the traumatic events happened early in life or if the trauma was caused by a primary caregiver. In my case my trauma was caused by neglectful and abuseful parenting. It took me until I was 15 to say enough is enough. The first real opportunity that came along to get away I grabbed with both hands and ran for the hills. I felt such relief. I honestly thought if I stayed in their care I’d end up dead. The uncertainty that followed was terrifying.

It took another 15yrs for me to acknowledge that actually I wasn’t ok. The traumatic situation around the birth of my first child triggered PTSD, at which point I realised that if I didn’t sort my head out, I couldn’t be the kind of parent I’d always hoped I would be.

My aim for this blog is to discuss my own personal experience and also the current information around recovery for childhood trauma survivors. I used the word survivors purposefully, because if you’ve got this far, that’s exactly what you are.

A survivor.

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